I belong to several survivor message boards and when I start to feel especially down about my own bad experiences (or I start to feel that I’m “irrevocably screwed up” by them) I sometimes take a deep breath, go over to one of these boards, and try to help other people. It’s a lot easier to use this sort of energy through the internet than it is to do it in a more formal setting, such as over the phone or in a shelter. There is distance, anonymity, a promise of privacy, but also a deeper understanding of equality. Though everyone comes to the forums in different states of health and healing, everyone shares two things: 1) they have been hurt, and 2)they have the capacity to heal. It’s humbling in many ways to be part of a community like that. I find that it also helps my advocacy through outreach, because I see stories and experiences of so many diverse and wonderful people that I know better how to capture the attention of those who must be reached to effect change.
“Why I’m an advocate” has always been a difficult position to explain. At least for me. I’ve sat in rooms and read the testimony of many people who seem able to quickly, decisively, and forthrightly answer that. For me, I don’t think I understood myself well enough when I took on advocacy as a personal goal. I better know, now, that it’s a multifaceted and complex issue, but one which is driven directly by compassion and love for other people. (Even as I, ironically, can’t always let myself trust other people.) I have known hurt but I have known healing. I have known heartbreak but I have known security and comfort. I want others out there, everywhere, to know the uplifting side of human experience, and to feel part of this same community of growth.
Today is Martin Luther King Day of Service. I want to honor and thank the millions of people out there who are giving their ongoing efforts to various causes around the world, and particularly in the United States, since this is a United States event. (Not to discount those in other locations who are also doing amazing things!) Community change is not a simple matter. It takes personal resolve and strength to make changes. Coming together with those who don’t agree with your position takes collaboration and compromise. Learning to work with people who impart different values is one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced in my advocacy work. It’s not easy but it’s a part of growing. I want all of you advocates and volunteers (as well as full-time paid and non-paid staff and champions) to know how much I respect you and the time, energy, money, love, grease, and sweat you devote to what you do. You are amazing and am very happy to know that you exist and live in my world. Congratulations to you.
the black window 